He's sitting across a table from someone who really does not know him. She thinks she knows him, and there was something about his looks, his mannerisms, his sense of humor, and the air of confidence he carried that attracted her to his presence initially. He‘s not who she thought he was though. Maybe he’s not who she really wants him to be.
If he wore a different color shirt, straying from all black, that would be hot.
If he styled his hair rather than allow the natural curls to frame his face in their own way sometimes, he would look great.
If he didn’t curse so much… if he would just quit smoking…if her parents liked him a little bit more and he wasn’t such a rebel… if he came from oodles of money… if he could be kept a secret, just because... he would be perfect.
She‘a sitting across a table from someone who really doesn’t know her either. He thinks he knows her, and there was something about her looks, her mannerisms, her sense of humor, and the air of confidence she carried that attracted him to her presence initially. She‘a not who he thought she was though. Maybe she’s not who he really wants her to be.
If she wasn’t always so girly, that would be hot.
If she had straighter teeth or wasn’t so thin, she would look great.
If she weren’t so sensitive… if she wasn’t so sassy… if his parents liked her a little bit more and she wasn’t such a rebel… if she came from oodles of money… if she could be kept a secret, just because… she would be perfect.
It is entirely fascinating the way the two of us have been through nearly identical situations, living under extremely specific circumstances in various relationships with others. In each instance, we were adored for who we were at first. Over time, and more times than either of us wished to count, that changed. Ever so slowly but surely, we were expected to alter tiny bits of ourselves into who and what these other individuals wanted us to be. Who were they, in their make-believe and self-proclaimed perfection, to even suggest any alterations at all? How completely narcissistic and shallow each of those individuals were in the unstable existence they represented. Because we are givers and peace-maintainers, neither of us realized these things until those relationships had ended. More often than not, we felt battered and bruised and a bit worn down...but not for long. We held our heads high, bringing our most endearing and charming aspects to the forefront again in the only armor we needed to face each new sun-kissed day. Hindsight is 20/20 and sometimes it takes a few rounds of boxing the bullshit to gain crystal clear vision. Once it is obtained, notes are taken and lessons are learned.
The definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior over and over again, expecting a different result. Well… Neither one of us are insane.
I love his curls and he loves my smile. I love him dressed in black or cast in a bit of color. He loves me in a t-shirt and jeans or a dress. I giggle at his cursing and he laughs at my sassiness. We are equally quirky in our own ways and every bit of it meshes as well as satin with lace. Knowing each other on deep levels for over two decades and having a solid friendship as a base is why we are who we are together now. It’s why we finish each other’s sentences and complete one another’s thoughts. It’s why our communication is clear, our mutual respect is fueled by love and our conversations are at least 50% laughter and 0% dull or forced. Neither one of us is hidden from a single soul on this earth or beyond, and excuses simply just don’t exist.
This journey has continued to run a beautifully paved course as our relationship gains limitless positivity and strength.
For that - we are blessed and grateful.
-Sher
Comments