The sun beats down on my legs in the passenger seat of the car as we drive to the salon each morning. Palm trees and flowers fly by in my peripheral view while classic rock, country or reggae music is playing, and life here feels normal. I feel like I’ve always been here. I feel like I will always be here. There’s still a decent amount of traffic, although nowhere near what there was during any of my previous stays. I pull down the visor to make sure there’s no lip gloss on my teeth, and I admire the amazing color and cut. My nails are long and manicured in a color called burgundy velvet and my skin in tanned with a hint of color. Should I feel guilty for any of this? A small strange part of me says yes but the bigger rational part of me says no. I’m with Lynn every day; he’s my stylist. My friend does my nails and yes, we wear masks. It doesn’t feel like I’ve been here for three weeks, and my days here haven’t felt any different now than they have before aside from not frequenting Delux for the sliders, Attic Ale House for the wings, Yen for the sushi, and The Vig for amazing salads and burgers. We’ve spent three consecutive Sundays at the parents' house, watching classic car and tree house shows and have fabulous dinners. We wake up every morning and I snuggle in my “nook” of his arm before we decide it’s time to actually get up some time around 8:00. Once we’re up, he makes coffee – always mine first with a double dose of his signature espresso-strength java because he is sweet that way – and we sit in bed enjoying it together. He watches puppy or car videos on YouTube and I check Instagram while dipping my Double Chocolate Milano cookies in my coffee. I never slept past 6:00 before all of this on a day off, let alone had coffee and cookies in bed. It’s really so nice.
We’ve visited Ebi and Sadie numerous times to watch movies, have dinner and drinks, and swim. We had an amazing birthday weekend celebration because Ebi and Lynn share that day. We’ve completed numerous projects at the house and are beginning one of our favorite ones today. We’ve looked at the moon through a telescope, cooked pizzas and steaks on the grill, and watched movies at our own house until it was time to turn some tunes on low volume to fall asleep. That is the best kind of white noise.
I’ve been somewhat anxious for things to go back to normal only I don’t actually want them to in so many ways because this is my normal now. It takes 30 days to form a habit and we’re all programmed to function in this odd yet peaceful yet scary way for at least 60 at this point. Now what? Will we feel comfortable at a restaurant or bar the way we were even at the beginning of March? Will we stand closer than six feet to one another? Will we hug? Will the paranoia and irrational fears cease or carry on as a neurotic new norm? I still feel now as I did when it began. I’m aware of it and I am as cautious as I am during cold and flu season in the Midwest. If you don’t know that the means, look at a map during that time of year. It nearly mirrors the COVID map now identically in its representative colors of cases.
Initially I was going to stay in Arizona for 25 days. Then it became 30. Now it is 35. I’m able to change my flights free of charge so why leave earlier than I have to? The Governor of Illinois continues to extend the stay at home orders. The weather is typical for April, ranging from warm mugginess to cold rain to ominous dark clouded thunderstorms with tornado warnings. My kiddos, my brother, Mel and my mom are the only things I miss. I speak to or FaceTime them daily.
In a perfect world, we would all live out here, but in the meantime, I’m retuning to the Midwest for a while longer because I’ve been called back to work soon. I’m enjoying my stay and looking forward to the next one so soon at the end of the month. I’ll have another extended visit in June during which Dylan will get to come to experience Arizona for a few days. I hope this part of the world is open again so he can experience some of what I have since November. He will love it.
Today I am grateful. My heart is full. I’ve laughed already so much today my sides hurt and it’s only 1:39. I’m so nerdy, I’m looking forward to our trip very soon to Home Depot to pick out some paint colors and get some materials to make the antique window pane cabinet that will house glasses and cups. I’m also looking forward to the trip to the grocery store after that… it’s steak and eggs with salad night. Yum.
