Why Do You?

Why do you look at the stars? Sit outside on a quiet, clear night. Alone.

Sit there.

Look up at the thousands of stars you can see and the millions you can only imagine. Those tiny little balls of flickering light are no different than we are. They shine brightly in their own reserved spots, night after night, singular and unique from all that surrounds them. It's humbling and it's entirely peaceful. It's actually a pretty amazing experience to take notice of those little things that we usually take for granted. In the chaos that is sometimes life, it's nice to literally just stop and let every bit of it take a back seat for a while.

Does that make you feel small or does it make you feel big?

It doesn't really matter as long as it makes you feel like something.

I love spring, summer or fall. I love any kind of night that's warm enough to sit outside and just be. It's quiet on my street and the silence helps make this a little bit of something to de-stress the end of a day. Somewhere down the road I hear wind chimes. They play a little song that I don't know but it's familiar enough for me to want to listen longer. It's faint and it's pretty because it's the only sound I really hear. There have been a few nights when I heard those chimes and there wasn't any kind of breeze at all. For a moment that seemed odd, but the stars wanted to dance and the chimes had something to say. I watched a dance and I listened to a song.

Why do you look at the sunrise? Sometimes I feel like a robot on auto-pilot because my body physically refuses to let me sleep past 7:30, and even that is pushing it. I've been an early riser for years and while my eyes and body have been ready for a nap by 2:00 for as long as I can remember, I've learned to accept and maybe kinda love waking up before the sun. There's a cozy kind of comfort in my t-shirt with leggings and knee-high sweater socks and messy bun hair, sitting with a hot cup of coffee.

When it's going to be sunny, the black sky slowly gives in to a sun that's painting the sky pink, purple, orange, and gold before it gives way to endless blue. It's as quiet and peaceful and the night before was with those stars, only this time it's the sun sharing it all with the moon. Instead of chimes, it's the squirrels playing games with each other in the massive tree in the back yard and it's the birds.

I'm probably an unknowing member of some geek club extraordinaire but I don't care. I love it. I love every single bit of it.

I take so many pictures of sunrises because all I really want to do is capture them permanently but the truth is that I can't. The pictures may be pretty but the truly beautiful bit of these mornings is being part of the moments themselves, while they are happening. It's a sweet, sweet thing.

Why do you talk to Jesus? I don't go to church every Sunday and I don't know the Bible from cover to cover. We all have to believe in something good beyond this time and place and talk to someone who loves us unconditionally and doesn't judge us.

That is who I chose.

I've talked to Jesus for as long as I can remember and it's something that has always brought me comfort during good times and bad. To each their own, myself included. Why do you forgive so easily? I don't really know. See above? Actually, I do know.... Because it's easier that way. I've been called a pushover more times in my life than I can count but call me what you will, I have reasons and they're solid. I am one of the sassiest and temporarily hot-headed people on this Earth, but only with reason and only when I'm defending myself against something that is wrong.

For that, I have every right. It's all about the principle. The truth is that behind any kind of sass, I am also the calmest soul, the most peaceful maker, the fullest lover, and an enduring fighter for all things good. I see light in the darkest people and situations, and I always see what is good in everyone and everything I encounter.

The same people who call me a pushover or a sass also know that is true...They know. I hate drama. I hate conflict. I hate raveled edges and I hate frazzled ends. Unfinished business isn't right and each one of these things equals nothing but stress and negativity. I don't like stress or negativity. Who does? If I'm doing my part on the forgiving end of any situation, I'm doing my job and I am satisfied with that. Why do you write? Because it's one of the very few things I do that is only for myself. I started this site in 2017 and I share it with the world, but only I know the exact meanings and intentions behind each post I publish. The beauty in that is the way it's all open to interpretation by anyone who reads here. Music is like that too...and it's a very cool thing.

I'm grateful for anyone who takes an interest in this place because I don't live an extravagant kind of life. I'm just an average girl living in a small town in the middle of America. I'm pretty humble. Writing is my outlet. This site is a place where I can keep my words all organized to satisfy my OCD kind of nature, and a place and way I can be myself 200%.