Updated: Oct 10, 2021
Sometimes I really know what I'm doing and sometimes I don't have the first damned clue.
Sometimes I really know there are people I can rely on and trust, and sometimes I know I'm alone.
Sometimes I really know what I want and I'm full steam ahead on a mission to get it.
Sometimes I change my mind and wonder what in the hell I'm really doing.
Sometimes I have everything all figured out, from the way I part my hair to the way I carefully wing my eyeliner.
Sometimes I realize I have nothing figured out at all because the part in my hair and liner on my lids are the only things I feel like I can really control.
Sometimes I laugh so hard it hurts, and all I can do is smile at a day that's sunny instead of gloomy or at an unexpected message from anyone close to me.
Sometimes I cry just as hard as I laugh because on so many days, I feel confused and lonely and lost.
Sometimes I know I've found my nitch in life and it's so damned comfortable that all I feel is a sweet inner peace.
Sometimes I I feel like I fit in nowhere and I wonder if I will ever really will at all.
Sometimes I feel like I have the answers to any kind of problem. I feel like if I had the chance, I could just fix the whole damned world.
Sometimes I feel like I have no answers for any kind of problems at all, and the weight of my own has worn me down to nothing.
Sometimes I feel like I know people inside and out and it's wonderful, pure and good.
Sometimes I realize I really don't know them at all and I wonder who is the odd one...them or me.
Sometimes all I want to do is trust, love and feel carefree about the world the same way I did when I was a little girl.
Sometimes I just can't get there all the way because experience has jaded me and taught me to be cautious.
Sometimes I have hope and sometimes I have doubt. Sometimes they get mixed up and confused together.
All the time though, I see a silver lining in every single thing because silver is a form of gray...and gray is my favorite color.
Sometimes.
-S